Will the Real Moose Please Stand Up?

September 17, 2011

An apparently well-to-do Anchorage neighbor we haven't yet met took his yard decorations a little over the top, with bronze lions to guard the gate and a life-sized bronze statue of a bull moose in the center of his circle drive. The real bulls in the neighborhood seem oblivious to the fact it's not a real moose, at least during the rut.

One day as Dennis drove by he saw police vehicles with flashing lights parked in front of the house. He stopped to see what was happening. An officer stood near one of the live bulls writing out a ticket. "What's going on?" Dennis asked. The officer barked, "He's being booked for statutory rape."

OK, it's a joke. But the only part that's not true is the part about the citation. All the bulls in the neighborhood showed up one fall to sniff, spar with and assert their dominance over the bronzed muscular newcomer, when they weren't busy sparring with each other.

It gave Dennis an idea. Perhaps we should buy a bronze moose and take it to the lake. If we erect it near the cabin during hunting season, the big bulls will come to us. We won't have to wander around looking for them!

That's a joke, too. We'd be the ones cited if we tried it, I think.